Not coal tar! Anything but coal tar!

I like to think that I have a decent amount of self-control. I rarely over-indulge, I place a lot of value in my nutrition and I avoid excessive sources of sugar. 

I’d like to tell you that there are no exceptions.

However.

I can’t.

You see, there is in fact, one giant exception.

Now I know what you are thinking-must be something fancy and indulgent. Something expensive, difficult to find and saved only for very important special occasions.

Ya know, filet mignon, truffle oil, champagne or maybe even godiva chocolate truffles!

Nope.

It’s candy corn.

But not just any candy corn. It HAS to be Brach’s candy corn and in the interest of full disclosure, I prefer the autumn mix. Yes, even the giant pumpkin explosions of pure sugar.

I wait all year for candy corn season. Even though holiday food is often out in the stores months before the designated holiday, I make myself wait. I spend late August and September salivating in anticipation for October. On the first glorious day of October, I sprint to the closest source of candy corn and buy the biggest bag I can find. I spend the month enjoying each delicious bite of soft, sugary honey and on the final day of the month I finish whatever remains of my candy corn stash. On November 1^st, all candy corn must be out of the house (read: in my stomach) and I restart the year-long countdown for next October.

Any and all self-control that I have goes out the window when it comes to candy corn.

It is my kryptonite.

But friends, I have devastating news.

I know this may come as a shock to you, but candy corn is not an all-natural product.

I know, I know, take a moment to compose yourself, because I’m about to rock your world even more.

[deep breath]

Candy corn has artificial coloring.

Can you believe it???

More specifically, candy corn has yellow dye #6. 

Yes, the one that I’m now allergic to, along with yellow #10.

There may or may not have been some serious throat lumpage and major eye-tearing at the grocery store this weekend. [Hangs head in shame]

Don't think I haven't done extensive research on candy corn alternatives, post devastating discovery. I've investigated vegan candy corn (no gelatin, still yellow dye). I've combed through the Brach's website and considered the Easter version, complete with pink, purple and spring green candy corn (Negative. Still yellow 6 with the addition of blue 1).

In fact, in the last week I’ve gotten a true education on yellow dyes and how they are in EVERYTHING. Ok, maybe not everything, but pretty darn close. I’ve also learned that yellow dye is actually coal tar. Yep, coal tar. You’d think this would deter me from continuing to crave candy corn.

Nope. Still want it. Mmmmm coal tar?

Yellow dye was also discovered in my shampoo, conditioner, Tylenol, toothpaste, vitamins, medications, crackers, gummy bears(shocker), chicken broth, canned butternut squash, hand soap, lotion, yadda yadda yadda. It's also a very good thing that I don't wear a lot of makeup and now I finally understand why wearing lipstick makes me want to scratch my face off.

And just in case I was thinking I may be able to someday reintroduce bread crumbs, cake mix, icing, cake decorations, jimmies, snack chips, certain breads and cheeses, soups, marinades, ice cream, marmalade, custard, lemon curd, food coloring, etc. I can think again. 

So yes, I am aware that a body as hypersensitive as mine could probably benefit from going cold turkey on all artificial additives. Let's be honest, most of the things I eat now are either raw or very minimally processed, which is something I'm proud of and strongly believe in for healing and overall health. So yes, there is a part of me that is very much okay with having a reason to completely eliminate  any and all processed products, both of the food and health care variety.

But like a bear to honey, I need my candy corn. 

So my friends, I have an assignment for you. I need you to eat some candy corn and vicariously through you, I will enjoy each bite of sugary honey goodness. Yes, this means even the pumpkins.

I'll even give you permission to start before October 1st!

Come on, be a pal!

After all, it's only coal tar.