Sunday, June 30, 2013

A Belated Cheers

Long lost friends! Remember when I wrote a heartfelt introduction to my new business, released my website to the blogosphere, and then disappeared off the face of the earth?

Yea, sorry about that.

Truth be told, it has been an interesting couple of weeks.

("Interesting" is clearly a code word for extraordinarily medically ridiculous. Duh.)

Ya see, instead of celebrating the release of my business with green juice cocktails and sparkly shoes, I celebrated with a night in the emergency room and a saline drip. Coincidentally, this grand celebration coincided with Mr. Restarting My Hard Drive's 30th birthday...and nothing says party time quite like ringing in your big birthday on the horribly uncomfortable plastic chairs in the ER (Yes, I'm accepting nominations for Wife of the Year 2013).

My tribe at Mayo thought I had an infection in my bone marrow biopsy sites. The ER determined that I had a virus. Two and a half weeks of a high fever later, it was determined that I actually had a sinus infection and pneumonia. Details.

In the midst of all of this respiratory loveliness, I "treated" myself to my very first MRSA scare (check that puppy off the bucket list!). Turns out I don't have MRSA, I'm just allergic to my feeding tube.

Yep. The one I've had for years.

I mean, why not?

So when life hands you fake-MRSA, pneumonia and a sinus infection, you are supposed to rest. A lot. (Ya know, the whole lungs are compromised but you need them to breathe thing).

But if, hypothetically of course, your levels from your non-existent thyroid decide to skyrocket up at the same time as said infections, let me assure you that there will be no resting. Yes, there is a reason it is called hyperthyroidism.

Purely hypothetically, of course.

(But just so we're clear, I'm still baffled that an organ that I no longer possess can turn me into an insomniac robot. A robot with frizzy hair. Because the organ I no longer possess can also change my hair texture. Clearly.)

On the plus side, my file cabinet has never been so organized.

Needless to say, recovery was a wee-bit delayed and may or may not have taken more than one round of gluten-dairy-yellow dye-sulfa-penicillin-free antibiotics. Short of losing my mind, I did what anyone would do to save their sanity.

I cleared my schedule and got out of dodge.

For a week, I disappeared with my family to the Pocono Mountains in Pennsylvania...the home of my cherished yearly family vacation for the past 30 years (34 years for Ma and Pa!). I replaced doctor's appointments with bike rides and disability paperwork with long naps. I played cards with my hubby and read three books and even got my parents to start their day with green juice shots.

I slowed down. I breathed (thank you antibiotics!). It was glorious.

I recommend a good dose of "escape from reality" for any ailment. Except beware of that whole "have to come home eventually" thing. It's a dagger.

But now that I'm home, and no longer an emphysemic robot, I'd like to finally raise a proverbial glass of green juice - to summer,  to hair elastics, the dawn of a new medical month, and most importantly to you. Thank you for allowing me to share my new adventure with your unparalleled love and support.

Cheers to health and happiness, my friends!