Hello, blank page

Hello blank page. 

It has been a long time. 

A really long time. 

To be honest I can't really explain my absence. 

I have a few theories, but I don't know for sure. 

What I do know is that life got so very heavy. 

Not just my life, but our lives. 

Turning on the news has turned into a downright traumatic experience.

All of a sudden, a foot I fractured by walking (mad skills over here), recurrent blood clots (Hasta la vista Carlos the Clot #1-6) and having myofascial release therapy UP MY NOSE seem like worthless minutiae. 

(Ok maybe not the nose story. I mean, someone put their ENTIRE finger up my nose. On purpose. So there’s that.)

It all just feels a bit much.

Highly sensitive creature that I am, my heart feels like it doubled in weight.

And I stopped writing.

It's not that I didn't try - I have countless starts in random notes and post-its - but mostly I sat paralyzed staring at a blank screen.

What could I possibly say that would actually matter?

I want it to matter.

And feelings are scary. 

Writing about them makes them real.

Real feels scary these days.

I far prefer the world of unicorns and avocado toast raining from the sky.

(Side note - how convenient would that horn be for spearing slices of toast?! GENIUS).

But, here we are. Not a unicorn in sight.

I know I want to write, that I need to write. 

I have a lot to say, when I'm ready.

It’s time to feel it all.

It’s time to write it all.

Hello, blank page.

I’ve missed you, but I'll be back soon.